


Count the Ages

by FallOutStucky



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: A tiny bit, Birthday Presents, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Light Angst, M/M, POV Alternating, booknerd!bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 18:22:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7585132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallOutStucky/pseuds/FallOutStucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On March 10th 1917, in a small Brooklyn townhouse, Winifred Barnes gave birth to her first and only son. </p><p>On March 10th 2017, Bucky Barnes is woken up by a soft kiss, pressed on his forehead, followed by a second and a third, as his boyfriend searched his way down to Bucky´s mouth.</p><p>Bucky´s birthdays through the years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Count the Ages

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CarryOnMyWaywardStucky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarryOnMyWaywardStucky/gifts).



> I actually had this fic ready but not edited on Bucky´s birthday since I wanted to post it then but my oral graduation exam fell on that day so I had to rearrange a bit and therefore I wann gift this fic to my amazing best friend! 
> 
> *Happy 20th Birthday! I´m so glad we met and became friends, don´t know what I´d do without you :) <3 (look I even made aheart ;P)*
> 
> Anyways, enjoy reading :)

On March 10th 1917, in a small Brooklyn townhouse, Winifred Barnes gave birth to her first and only son. The little boy was born shortly after sunrise and had caused his mother a lot of pain since she already went into labor the evening before.

“Oh, stubborn little baby. You know what my Grandma said? A long birth will bring a strong and bright kid. But also very stubborn”, the midwife said with her heavy Colombian accent. She was an older, black woman who lived across the street. She had already helped to deliver the Barnes' daughter as well as almost every other child in their quarter.

Winifred groaned and glared at her with tears in her eyes. “That´s not helping right now.”

She just chuckled. “It´s done very soon. You´re doing great, sweetheart.”

And then, after fourteen hours, it was over and Winifred held her little son in her arms. He was beautiful, with dark locks and shining blue eyes. After screaming for hours, he was now finally asleep. She'd laid him down carefully into Rebecca´s old crib and tucked him into a red checkered blanket her mother had knitted for the child.

Winifred herself settled down to rest for a bit too after eating something. She actually managed to get a good hour of sleep before she was woken up again, as the door swung open and her four year old daughter Rebecca peered through the door into the living room.

“Mommy! Where is it?”, she whispered.

“He is in the crib, honey. Come in, then you can look at him.”

Rebecca opened the door and entered the room slowly.

Behind her a young blond woman entered, smiling and holding a small bouquet of crocuses. She lived in the house to their left and had taken care of Rebecca while Winifred was in labor. Her name was Sarah Rogers and her husband Joe was, as well as Winifred's George fighting in the war in Europe.

Sarah hugged her carefully when the three of them were standing in front of the crib.

“He´s beautiful”, she whispered.

“Thank you, Sarah. I know this isn't easy for you but don't give up. You'll have a child. Soon”, Winifred answered with an uplifting smile. She knew how much Sarah wished to be a mother but didn't think that they were able to have children and then Joe had to go to war making it completely impossible for her to get pregnant. A week then after their husbands had shipped out, Winifred had discovered her own pregnancy.

“I hope so. Maybe a little boy as well, then the two of them can be best friends” she said smiling a little sad.

“Or a pretty baby girl then they can get married when they´re grown up”, Rebecca chimes in causing the adults to laugh and changing the mood instantly.

“Anyways”, Winifred started after they caught their breath again. “I wanted to ask you something Sarah…would you like to be his godmother?”

Sarah looked up at her. Surprise written all over her face, there were tears in her eyes and she pulled Winifred in for a hug.

“Oh, of course, Win. I'd love to”, she whispered, head buried in her friends shoulder.

After a few seconds she took a step back and swallowed, rubbing the tears away.

“So…how you gonna name him?”

“James. James Buchanan Barnes.”

“Like the president?”

Winifred shook her head, laughing. “Not my choice, believe me. My father's a big fan, don't know why. But well, it was either that or, since we named Rebecca after my mother, after George´s father. Herbert.”

Sarah joined her laugh. “Yeah, that´s definitely worse.”

“I mean like this we can at least make him a Jim or Jimmy.” She didn't seem to happy about that though.

Sarah looked down at little James and thought for a moment.

“What if you make something out of his middle name? Like... I don't know...Buke…Bucky?”

“Bucky?” she said, considering it for a moment. “Yeah, I like that.”

As if he had heard them, the little boy opened his eyes.

“Hello, Bucky”, Winifred muttered, stroking the baby's dark hair softly with her left hand.

He didn't cry, as she had expected, he just looked at them and smiled, for the first time in his life.

“Seems like he likes it too.”

Rebecca on the other hand frowned, unsure about that new human being in her life.

“He is so tiny and wrinkled. Ain't I supposed to have fun with a little brother? I want a new one. This one´s boring, he doesn't do anything. And what kind of name is Bucky even? I thought he would be called James.”

Her mother smiled and stroked her head, eyes fixed on the little boy in the crib. He was staring back at her with wide blue eyes, his little fist shoved into his teeth less mouth.

“No. Just wait, Rebecca. He will grow up great, he will grow up a hero.”  
=☆= 

On March 10th 1919, Sarah Rogers knocked at her neighbors' door. In her arms she held her eight month old son. He was covered in several blankets, only his little pale face, with the big blue eyes and rosy cheeks showing. She bowed down, carefully to not hurt him and picked the apple pie up she had placed there to knock.

The door was opened by a man with short dark hair and glasses on.

“Sarah! And you brought little Stevie with you. How is our handsome young man doing?”

“Oh, he´s good. Hasn't had a cold for almost a month now.”

“Really?”, he asked with honest care. “That´s great. Here, let me take care of the pie. The others are in the living room.”

“Thank you”, Sarah said and left for the living room. There, at the rearranged dining table, were sitting four women and two men.

Winifred, her brother Jacob and his wife Elizabeth, the Martins from across the street and Laura, a friend of the Barnes'.

At a smaller table besides them, Rebecca was sitting with the Martin's twins and Laura's son Paul. The little girl jumped up when she saw Sarah and Steve entering.

“Aunt Sarah!” She ran towards her and hugged her leg. “Look at my new dress. Isn't it beautiful?”

“It sure is”, Sarah agreed and hugged her with her free arm. Rebecca truly looked adorable in her black and white dress and the red bow shining bright against her brown curls.

Winifred had gotten up too and left the dining table. On her hip she carried the two year old birthday boy, who still preferred, although being more than old enough to walk by himself, to be carried around by his parents.

“Sarah, I´m so glad you could make it”, Winifred greeted her.

As soon as Bucky caught sight of Sarah and Steve he began to fidget and extended his tiny arms towards them.

“Maaaaa…mhmm”, he babbled. “Teve. Taah.”

The two women chuckled.

“Like you said. Best friends. Already. Do you think it will be okay if we let them play on the carpet together?”

“Yeah, should be no problem. He's been pretty good this last few weeks. He can finally sit on his own, I think he can handle it for a bit.”

They put them down on the thick soft carpet in the corner and Winifred took Bucky's little hands into her own.

“Be careful, Honey. Okay? Not too wild.”  
Bucky nodded staring up at his mother with his eyes wide and mouth open. She wasn't really sure that he'd understood her.

As soon as they both sat on the carpet they started playing with the game pads and babbling in their toddler and baby language. Bucky already forming half understandable words while Steve simply made sounds which, with a lot of fantasy, could be taken as the same.

Bucky seemed to show Steve all of his new toys the guests had brought him as gifts and Baby Steve smiled brightly at everything Toddler Bucky showed him even though Sarah doubted that either of them really understood what it was they were doing.

Their mothers sat down at the table. Gratefully Sarah took the cup of coffee she was handed.

“So Sarah, how you doing?”, Laura asked after a while.

She just shrugged, that sad smile back on her face.

“Oh well, I'm getting by. I hope every day that Steve won't catch anything new. It's not easy all on my own, I have to work as many shifts as I possibly can. Winifred and George are a big help, though.”

Winifred softly touched her hand in an act of consoling. She knew that Sarah didn't like the pity and quickly changed the topic.

After a few more minutes the last of their guests, George's younger brother Michael arrived and they started to eat the cake and pie.

They brought the two boys to the table, Bucky sitting in his high chair and Steve on George's lap besides him. He´d simply refused to sit with his mother since it meant sitting all of two seats away from Bucky.

So George had just taken him with a smile. “It's alright, I'd love to do it. I'm his godfather ain't I? So it's technically my job. You catch a break.”

Bucky tried to share his cake with Steve by taking little bits into his tiny fists and trying to shove them into Steve's mouth who just giggled, causing the whole cake to crumble onto his clothes and George's pants. Pretty much to the amusement of the whole table.

“So young and already best friends”, Robert Martin said, taking a sip of coffee.

“Well not that they have that much variety to pick from.”

“Right”, Laura said, laughing. “It's a shame though, Sarah if you would've had a girl, they'd be the perfect match.”

They still are, Sarah thought as Bucky left a chocolaty hand print on Steve's cheek and the little blond laughed more cheerfully than ever. Most of the time Steve was a pretty quiet child but not when he was with Bucky, then he didn't stop babbling and laughing.

A few hours later everyone but Sarah was gone, the two babies were laying in Bucky's crib, sound asleep. George was bringing Rebecca to bed, Sarah and Winifred are sitting on the sofa.

“Two years ago, I told you that you would have your own child too soon, remember?”, Winifred asked, smiling at Sarah, who nodded sadly.

“I remember, yes. And I thank god every day for my little angel. I only wished that Joe would be here to see him. I wished Steve would be physically stronger… I…I just wished things were easier.”

Alarmed by a quiet fussing from the bed the two of them looked over at the two boys sleeping in Bucky´s baby bed. Steve had shivered and boxed Bucky slightly against his arm, which simply had caused the brunet baby to snuggle up closer and hold on to Steve´s hand with all his toddler strength.

Sarah sighed. “Just promise me that they will always look after each other.”

“They will. Bucky will protect him, I  
know it.” 

=☆= 

On March 10th 1935 Bucky Barnes sneaked out of school during the second break. He'd get into trouble and Mr. Cooper would probably beat the living shit out of him but it was worth it. Plus, his parents probably wouldn't get mad at him since it was his birthday.

Instead of heading home he made a small turn to the left and pushed open the Rogers' unlocked backdoor. He tried to be as quiet as possible as he the sneaked through the house on his tiptoes. He soon realized though that Sarah wasn't home yet but stayed silent never the less.

Carefully he pushed the door to Steve's room open. The blinds were half closed and Steve was laying in his bed, sleeping. Bucky went over to the bed after dropping his bag besides Steve's desk.

Carefully he tapped Steve's shoulder. The blond's chest was rising slightly with his breaths and there ware pearls of sweat on his forehead even though it was cool to the touch.

“Hey, Stevie. Guess what day it is”, he whispered and waited. Nothing. Steve didn't wake up.

Bucky sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed as careful as possible to not disturb Steve any further. He reached forward to untie his shoes and kicked them off, then slipped out of his jacket and gently placed it besides his shoes.

Even though the blankets are thick and warm, Steve's skin, apart from his burning forehead is like ice. Bucky settled in besides him and pulled the small blond into his arms to keep him warm. Steve cuddled up against Bucky's side with a small, content sigh.

Bucky suppressed a chuckle and rested his cheek on Steve's damp hair.

It's the first time in about five years since they´d last done this. Slept in the same bed. As toddlers, they had often shared the crib and later as young boys, running around picking fights and annoying the whole neighborhood with their shenanigans they were always tired enough in the evenings that they just collapsed on one of their beds together. Waking up hours later limbs entangled, with a kilt thrown over the two of them by one of their parents.

But not since Bucky had gone to middle school. Not since he had kissed Betty Harting after his baseball match. Not since an asthma attack had nearly killed Steve with only twelve years. Not since Becca first took them with her to the school dance and Bucky'd danced the whole night while Steve had gone home around 9 and Bucky hadn't even noticed. Not since Steve had started drawing in his room instead of besides the field, while Bucky went out playing baseball. His diseases had become worse after his Mom couldn't afford the medication anymore because Joe's army dept had run out. No matter how much Bucky's parents had tried to help, the medication was just to expensive and the Barnes' had five children to raise.

Even though they started living their own life instead of a joined one, like Winifred had called it when Bucky first noticed the change in their relationship, the two haven't grown apart. They still spent all the time after school and at the weekends together. Most of the time Sarah worked the night shifts which paid more than the day shifts. In that nights, Steve always stayed with Bucky's family. They didn't share a bed anymore since Rebecca had moved and Bucky had a room for himself again, Steve always slept in Rebecca's old one, because they've (meaning Bucky) had grown to big.

Now though they fitted perfectly into the small bed.

So maybe there was another reason they started sleeping separately, Bucky thought as he was all to aware of Steve's thin frame pressed against his larger one. And then: maybe this wasn't normal. Maybe you shouldn't like that. Maybe your best friend shouldn't mean the world to you.

Maybe you shouldn't love him.

That was the last thing Bucky thought before he drifted over into sleep. When he woke up he couldn't remember any of those thoughts.

He woke up around 5pm or at least that's what he thought by the dim light from the setting sun coming in through the blinds.

“Buck…”, a rough voice to his right mumbled and right, that's why Bucky woke up in the first place. Something had been stirring besides him.

He looked down where he'd almost choking Steve with his embrace. He loosened his grip and Steve pushed himself up into a sitting position. Then he looked at Bucky with feverish blue eyes and that tiny sad smile he put on more and more in the last time.

“Wah…water”, Steve murmured, voice still hoarse.

“Oh. Of course!” Bucky reached over to the nightstand and handed Steve a glass with water. The blond took a few big gulps before he spoke, voice much clearer now.

“Bucky. What are you doing here?”

Bucky rubbed his neck, cheeks reddening with a blush.

“Well, I may have skipped school…”

Steve shook his head. “No that's not what I meant. It's your birthday. Shouldn't you be out with the others. I know David and Seamus were planning something for you and you…”

“Steve. Steve”, Bucky interrupted him, taking his friends face between his hands. “Yeah it's my birthday and yeah the guys were planning something for me but don't you think if I wanted to be there, I would be sitting here with you?”

“No?”

“Exactly. I want to spent my 18th birthday with my best friend. Just like I did the last 16 years. You understand that, Stevie?”

“Yeah”, Steve answered, his smile now real. “Speaking of which… I got you something.”

“Oh no…you didn't have to…”, Bucky started but Steve's already crawling out of the bed. As he stepped on the floor Bucky saw that Steve was wearing a dark blue sweater which was way to big for him and went over his small hands. It was one of Bucky's old ones he realized and that, for some reason made Bucky feel all warm and fuzzy in his gut. Steve went to the small drawer besides the window. He took out two packages wrapped in newspaper and a rolled piece of paper.

He placed them on the bed between them and wrapped one of the blankets around himself again.

“It's not much but I just wanted you to have something.”

“Oh Stevie, I'm sure I'm gonna like it.”

“Go ahead, open them”, Steve hurried.

First Bucky grabbed the piece of paper and enrolled it carefully. When he finally looked at the full picture his breath hitched.

“Gosh, Steve. It's beautiful.” It really was. The black and white charcoal picture showed a scene from last Christmas. As always Sarah and Steve had gone over to the Barnes' on Christmas morning to open presents. At some point Bucky's youngest sisters the two year old twins Margaret and Katherine had both climbed into Bucky's lap and started decorating his hair with tinsel and bows.

That scene was exactly what Steve had immortalized in his drawing.

“Really?”

“You can even tell Maggie and Katie apart!”

“Yeah that wasn't easy…open the next one.”

Steve was obviously still uncomfortable getting praise so Bucky went on opening the next one.

It was the biggest of the three and Bucky shook it curious. It didn't make a sound but was pretty heavy. After the paper was ripped away, Bucky held three books in hand. They were already ripped at the edges and obviously used but still had that typical book smell Bucky loved so much.

“Mr. Porter from the library said if I helped him out for a week while his son was visiting his grandma in Boston I could pick three books I like afterwards. I thought you'd like these. You always had a thing for mystery and weird shit.”

Bucky just nodded to busy looking at the books' covers and back texts, looking through the crumpled pages. The first one was called Sherlock Holmes - A study in scarlet. From Rebecca, who was an even greater book lover than Bucky, he knew that it was the first of a series of books about a British detective and his best friend. The second one was a hard cover copy of Strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, a book he'd planned on reading for years.

And the third one … well it was thinner but made him even happier. It was a pretty used copy of Bram Stocker's Dracula. He had owned a copy of the book when he was a child. It had previous been his grandpa's and he'd loved the book. Six years ago he'd left it on a park bench when he, Steve, Rebecca and his younger sister Ella were distracted by an ice cream paler. When they'd returned, the book was gone.

His copy had been equally old and used but in his was the name Jonathan Barnes in crappy handwriting written on the first page, then crossed out by another pen to read George Barnes and then later James.

On reflex, he flipped the book open to trace the lines of the three names with index finger like he used to do. And then, sure enough there they were, written on the first page.

His eyes shot to Steve who nodded grinning.

“It's the same book. The names … and there's the same stain on page sixty from when I spilled tea on it, remember? The one that…”

“…the one that looks like a bear. Yeah I remember. I can't believe you got it back.”

“Yeah me neither”, Steve agreed still smiling. Bucky couldn't help the warm feeling in his gut or the aching of his heart or the instinct of reaching out and grabbing Steve's hand, squeezing it softly.

The small blond blushed and averted his gaze towards the last gift. Bucky followed his line of sight and put the books to the side next to the drawing before he grabbed the wrapped package.

The third present was way smaller and Bucky doubted that it could be better than the first two but was excited nevertheless.

He opened it carefully to find a small wooden box. It's plain light brown and a him unknown but clearly Irish pattern was carved into the lid. There's a tiny silver lock at one side. Bucky looked from the little box to Steve and back again.

Steve's face gave nothing away but a bit of tension, obviously unsure and excited. Even as Bucky asked “Stevie, what is that?” He just nodded towards the box and mumbled more to him self. “Just open it.”

Bucky fumbled a bit with the lock but is eventually able to reveal the interior. He'd thought that the third one couldn't top the first two. Oh boy had he been wrong.  
There, on a small green velvet pillow lay a ring made of shining silver, the same thin ranks as on the box were drawn around it in gold.

He gasped loudly and brushed over the ring.

“Is that…?”

“Yeah my dad's ring.”

Steve's great-grandfather Eric of whom Bucky had only heard stories but who'd apparently been a black smith back in Ireland, had made the ring for his wife for their engagement. After she'd died in childbirth, leaving her husband and their three children behind, Eric had widened the ring so it would fit on his own finger as a loving memory of his wife. After his own death he passed it on to his oldest son, Steve's grandfather who gave it to his only child, his son Joe who then gave it to Steve. The ring was over a hundred years old and worth more than either of the two boys could imagine, but no matter how urgently they needed money, Sarah wouldn't sell the ring. Never.

“It doesn't fit around any of my fingers. Too big. And it probably never will. Most of the boys our age don't grow much anymore. And…and I thought if you would wear it, that would be as good if I'd wear it you know?“

“Steve I can't accept that”, he whispered.

“Yes you can. I l… you are my best friend.”

Bucky just nodded, was too overwhelmed to do anything else. He took the ring out of the small box and put it on the middle finger of his right hand. It fitted perfectly. He tried not to cry, he really did. Fortunately, Steve was already out of the bed again, making his way through the room, the blanket around him like a cloak, dragging over the floor with every step.

“Come on”, Steve called. “Mom must be back by now and she made you apple pie.”

“With maple syrup and butter crust?”, Bucky asked, a smile spreading over his face.

“Of course, Buck”, Steve said laughing and opened the door.

“Steve wait”, Bucky called and jumped out of the bed. He caught Steve's thin wrist, pulling him back into a tight hug.

“Thank you, Steve. Thank you so much”, he says, voice full of raw emotion.

“Happy birthday, Buck”, Steve murmured against his shoulder as Bucky hid his tears in a mess of sweaty blond hair.  
=☆=

 On March 10th 1943 Gabe Jones popped open one of the bottles of champagne they had taken from the stolen stuff they found in the latest hydra base they blew up.

“To our friend and comrade. May he save our asses for many more years!”, he yelled over the noise of his friends laughing and joking.

“To Barnes!”, Dum Dum joined his cheers.

“To Barnes!”, the others repeated. The bottle went around and everyone took a few sips.  
Bucky smiled, the champagne tickling inside him. It was the first time he had tasted something like that in his now twenty-six years of living.

Back home in Brooklyn, before the war, they hadn't had enough money to buy anything better than a few shots of the cheapest whiskey in all of New York and even that only about once every two months.

Only once he has gotten two bottles of the best wine he could find for Steve's twentieth birthday. It was expensive as hell, had costed Bucky his savings of a whole year, but it had been worth Steve's smile when he tasted the first sip as well as the fun they had afterwards, alone in their apartment and drunk as shit Bucky had tried to teach Steve how to dance and they had ended up laying on the floor, with their stomachs hurting from laughter.

Though Bucky had thought the expensive wine didn't taste that different from the cheap stuff and surely couldn't compete with the German champagne he was tasting now. So it seemed that the war could even have a few good sides from time to time.

“Alright, alright. Leave a bit for the Captain, bet he hasn't tasted anything like that before. Or has he, Barnes? Barnes!”, Dum Dum announced and took the bottle from Morita. Ripping Bucky away from the memories.

“What?”

“I said we should save a bit for Cap.”

“Yeah, yeah. Stevie would like that”, Bucky said with a smile, causing Monty to roll his eyes behind his back.

And right, Steve had been in a meeting with their commanding officers the whole day. It was nearly midnight, if it would take only an hour longer, it would be the second birthday Bucky would spend without his best friend. The last one he'd spent in a hydra facility, strapped to a table while this small creepy guy that looked like a fucking rat with glasses on had pumped indefinable substances into his veins.

So looking at the state of things from this point of few made the day already better with or without Steve.

Okay who was he kidding? He was preferring being strapped to a table, as long as Steve was there with him over sitting in a bar with everyone but him.

Gabe seemed to catch up on that because he slumped down on the chair next to Bucky and threw an arm over his friend's shoulder.

“Come on, pal. Cheer up a little, have another drink. Dugan has a deck of cards and we're playing a round. You care to join in, maybe bet those neat dress shoes of yours or that fancy ring you're wearing on your tag chain?”

Bucky's hand shot up automatically and grabbed the ring. When he shipped out he'd started wearing it on the chain with his dog tags instead of his finger, it was safer like that. Apparently the other Commandos had caught up on what it meant to him eventually.

Gabe squeezed his shoulder tighter and let out a barking laugh.

“Hey don't worry, Sarge. We won't take it from you. 'S from your sweetheart at home or something?”, he asked.

Bucky huffed out a laugh but he knew, that he had that dreamy love sick look on his face, cheeks blushing and biting his lip, that he always had when he talked about Steve. It pretty much gave him away to Jones.

“Hey, just because you can't spend that birthday with her doesn't mean you won't ever have one with her again, huh?”

“Yeah”, Bucky mumbled nursing his beer.

“Speaking of sweethearts”, Monty said next to Gabe who'd apparently listened the whole time, with a nod towards the door. “Look who's finally cared to join us.”

Bucky's eyes as well as the others' shot up as Steve entered the bar, looking a bit like a haunted animal, hair all tousled and coat tightly pulled around himself. He looked around the bar until his eyes found Bucky and a grin spread upon his face. Bucky couldn't help but smile equally bright. Steve took a step forward and spread his arms wide.

“Alright, come here so I can properly wish my best friend a happy birthday.”

Bucky slipped away from Gabe and met Steve halfway for a hug. Even though he'd just came in from the cold, Steve radiated a cozy warmth and Bucky pressed his face to Steve's shoulder, soaking in the familiar smell.

“Happy birthday, Buck”, he murmured. Then took a step back and handed Bucky the package he'd been carrying with him. The small crate in his other one he kept with himself.

“Steve…”

“Yeah, yeah I know we talked about this but come on I spent the whole day running around London on the search for it so just take it?”

“The whole day? I thought you had meetings…”

“I may have lied", Steve admitted, blushing.

"Well would you look at that, our righteous Captain lying, what would the children say?", Jim laughed.

"Screw you Morita!", Steve shot back still smiling, though.

"And now even swearing!"

"Okay, okay. Now shut the crap, guys", Monty intervened "Barnes open the damn present we all wanna see what Cap got you!"

"Okay, okay." Bucky shook his head but eventually joined his friends around the table again. This time with Steve pressed against his right side. To be honest Bucky was more interested in what was in the goddamn crate Steve kept out of his reach.

He took the present wrapped in thick brown paper. It was pretty heavy for its size and Bucky weighed it in his hands since he couldn't feel it anything through the solid paper.

A notch against his shoulder from Morita got him to stop and he eventually began to pull open the cord holding the paper together.

When he pulled the first layer of paper and could now feel that there where two books underneath. He couldn't help but shake his head laughing, earning an offended nudge from Steve.

"I'm sorry, Steve but isn't this getting old?"

"Shut up and just wait, you idiot", he answered but there's nothing but fondness in his voice.

The thing is, Bucky loved books and reading, the way it can drag you into an entirely different world and since his 18th birthday Steve had always tried to give Bucky a new one each year only missing it last year.

He pulled the other layers away and revealed a book with a green leather cover title and picture carved into it in gold and black. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. First edition.

"Steve…", he breathed out.

"Go on", Steve whispered so only Bucky and maybe Dum Dum on his other side could hear it.

He pulled the first book away from the second one. This one had a yellow outside with two boys drawn on it in red. Tom Sawyer, Abroad. First edition.

Bucky was beyond words. When he had turned 21 Steve had given him The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Bucky had become obsessed with the book. Rebecca teased him that it was because they reminded him of his childhood and maybe that was true, Bucky wasn't going to question it. Still, he loved the books and had tried for years to get his hands on the sequels without any success. And now Steve had gotten him two out of three. First editions.

"Books?", Dum Dum asked, pulling Bucky out of his haze. "I expected something more dramatic of a day long mission, Cap."

"Shut up, Dugan. I've wanted these for years and these copies are first editions."

He turned to his right and pulled Steve in for another hug. "Thank you so much, Stevie. Where the hell did you get them?"

Steve gave a small smirk and winked. "That's my secret. Let's just say that it took a lot more planning than just going on a one day long mission. But now…"

While Bucky cradled the books against his chest Steve placed the crate on the table and pushed the lid open.  
Within seconds the table is covered with a delicious smell of roasted nuts and chocolate. Bucky strained his neck to get a look into the box along with all the other Commandos. And sure enough there's a chocolate cake inside, about nine inches big and covered with chocolate glaze and sprinkled with nuts.

"Hallelujah, Cap. May god bless you. Chocolate Cake", Gabe murmured and the others let out appreciative nods, mouths hanging open.

"Gosh what have I done to deserve you?", Bucky smiled and Steve shrugged, blushing slightly.

"Only the best for my best friend."

"Not as good as your mom's apple pie though."

"No."

Eventually they got plates and forks and a knife from the kitchen and sometimes later they break out Dugan's cards and Bucky, Steve, Dum Dum, Gabe and Jim gather around the table for a game.

The more beer and whiskey they drank the looser Jones' tongue got so it shouldn't really have come as a surprise when he leaned over towards Steve and grinned sheepishly.

"Hey Steve, maybe you can tell us…"

Apparently the other two knew exactly what Gabe was so curious about. Bucky had a vague idea and Steve was as clueless as could be.

"Tell you what?"

"Well about Bucky's gal?", Jim almost shouted.

"Bucky's … what?" The look on Steve's face was priceless and Bucky would've laughed if the situation weren't so god damn embarrassing. And wrong.

" 'S just because of this nice sparkler around his neck", Gabe drooled as a form of explanation.

"What about it?" Steve's confusion had changed into anger within the blink of an eye.

"Well he clearly god it from his lady back home…"

"Why would you even think that?", Bucky spluttered.

"Well", Jim started. "You always get that lovey dovey look on your face whenever you look at it or someone mentions it."

"You…", Steve started but Bucky interrupted him. "I do not!", he tried to defend himself.

"You do!", their three friends shouted in unison.

"So back to it", Gabe just continued. "We wanted to know, Cap, what kinda girl is that? Getting Barnes all worked up like that? Has to be one helluva lady."

"He…what? No it's … what?", Steve stuttered and Bucky wished his friend would just shut up so he could somehow clear this mess up before everything got even worse.

"May I repeat for you slowly, Cap", Dum Dum said, clapping Steve's shoulder with every word.

"Who. Is. Bucky. In. Love. With?"

"Why would Bucky be in love with someone?", Steve asked still not catching up and is there something like panic in his calm voice?

Morita sighed over dramatically. "Gosh, Captain. Are you really that dumb? Your best friend is clearly in love with whoever gave him the ring be wears around his neck, it's so obvious even a blind man could see it and you didn't recognize it yet?"

Steve's mouth fell open and he gaped at Morita while Bucky prayed the floor would swallow him whole.

Suddenly Steve's eyes darted towards him and he couldn't breath anymore.

"Is that true? Buck?"

Bucky tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Unsuccessful. He stood up in a hurry, causing the chair to fall back loudly. Everyone's eyes were on him but his didn't leave Steve's baby blue ones.

"I…I need to get some air", he mumbled and stepped back, all but fleeing from the table.

The cold night air swallowed him and Bucky cursed himself for letting his coat inside the bar. Around the corner he slumped against the wall.

He gasped for air, mussing his fingers through his hair. He needed to breath, just breath, maybe run around a few blocks. Think of a solution. Everything would be okay again. He just…

"Bucky."

Bucky turned to his right, scared by the sudden sound of his name, looking into his best friend's eyes. He had been too deep in thoughts to hear Steve approaching him, had thought him alone in the small alley besides the bar.

"Steve", he mouthed.

Steve made a step towards him.

"Is it true what they said?", Steve whispered. Bucky averted his gaze but Steve grabbed his chin with slender and soft fingers, forcing Bucky to look at him. He is suddenly much more close to Bucky.

"Is it true?", he asked this time more urgently with something close to his Captain America voice. It isn't a question it's an order to get the information he wants.

Bucky didn't have it in him to speak he just nods, causing Steve to let out a breath Bucky didn't realize he'd been holding.

He tried to find his voice again. When he eventually did, all that came out was stuttered nonsense.

"Steve. I'm so sorry... I… I didn't mean to. It… please don't be disgusted by me, please. I'm sorry. I'm so so s…."

He was just up by a pair of soft, plush lips pressed against his own, tasting like chocolate and whiskey.

He gasped in surprise and Steve took the chance to deepen the kiss finally getting Bucky to return it. His mouth just opened by instinct, his tongue and lips running by body memory because his brain shortcut and his head spinned around, like the time he and Steve had ridden the cyclone. He felt like flying, like the ground was ripped from his feet.

Steve pulled away as hard as he'd leaned in, pressing his forehead against Bucky's, trying to catch his breath

"Never be sorry about that."  
=☆=

On March 10th 1944 it had been raining for three days straight. It was ice cold, cooled down from the northern air, every drop like a tiny needle when it hit the skin. Everyone who left their houses and stepped into this mess of a weather was soaked through with wet within seconds.

Therefore, the streets were completely empty apart from one single dark figure passing through the streets in a rather quick pace. The noise of his feet, splashing through the water, heard by no one.

Steve didn't care about the rain soaking through his uniform, the cold or the water in his shoes. Didn't care about catching a cold, those days were long gone.

He didn't feel any of it, just the same never vanishing numbness he had felt for the past week. It wrapped around his every thoughts, memories and actions. Left only one picture as clear as if he was still watching it before his own eyes. Heard his scream in an endless loop.

He didn't even remember how he came back

Maybe that was why he was running around in a, him totally unknown, Austrian town with no destination, just looking for something, anything to distract him.

Eventually he stood in front of a bar. No, not a bar. The bar they had celebrated after Steve rescued the Howlies and their division. The night when Bucky had met Peggy.

That night, the bar was brightly lit and sparkling, buzzing with drinking, dancing and laughing people. Now it was empty, out bombed. A broken, empty mess of what it had been. Much like Steve himself.

He couldn't resist stepping inside though. He didn't know how his feet carried him nor what exactly led him but somehow he made his way inside and found a few unbroken bottles of booze as well as a whole 2cl shot glass behind the bar. Steve carried everything over to the only standing table and took a fallen chair from the floor, sitting down on it.

He knew it was senseless to drink the pain away, since the serum prevented him from getting drunk. Deeper down he knew that even if he could get drunk there was not enough alcohol in the world to close the gaping hole in his chest where his heart used to be until two days prior, but was ripped from him and fell from a train into ice cold death.

On the outside though he thought that maybe the taste of alcohol would be enough to drown his thoughts.

That's how Peggy found him one hour and two bottles of whiskey later. She tried to console him he could tell but her words clashed against him like her bullets once did against his shield. A nice try but senseless. He knew that he was answering somehow but he couldn't recall his words the second they left his mouth.

“Did you respect your friend?”, she eventually said and that made Steve look up at her with tears in his eyes.

“I loved him...more than anything”, he huffed out. There was a shadow flicking over her face, a quick blink of her eyes that was out of rhythm with the others. Not because she judged him or is disgusted by it. Because it's not fair towards her. His confession. He did understand it, he really did. But she didn't understand him. He didn't play with her and her feelings.

He loved Peggy as well, as far as it was possible to love more than one person. But the love he felt for her was different from the one he felt for Bucky.  
His love for Peggy was like a rose, beautiful, calm and steadily growing with each day. But someday the rose would be on her peak and then start to fade. While his love for Bucky was… well was like a storm, raging and strong, like the deep sea, terrifying and endless, like coming home after being away for a long time.

You couldn't compare them but they were still worth the same. There was a picture of Peggy in his compass and one of Bucky in his pocket watch.

He wouldn't tell her that much though, that belonged to him and only him.

“That doesn't bring him back though”, he answered himself when Peggy didn't.

“No”, she agreed, hanging her wet coat over the chair opposites Steve, then she sat down.

She fumbled with something in her pocket. Steve watched her uninterested and took another sip of his rum even though it did nothing to his god damn super soldier metabolism.

When she placed her hand, obviously closed around a small silver item on the table.

“Steve…we…”, she was searching for the right words then sighed and just phrases it as she went.

“After they lead Zola away our man searched through the train and along with a lot of hydra weapons and other bad stuff, Private Dugan found these under a box of rifles. He…he must have lost them sometimes during your battle.”

“What…” Steve looked up to see what's under her hand which she is pulling back to herself.

When he saw it his breath caught and the tears in his eyes began running down his cheeks. At first his fingers traveled to the silver ring. He gave it Bucky thinking his friend would keep it his whole life and then on his death bed give it to his child since Steve never thought he'd children on his own. Somehow having the ring with him again, was worse than it lay in the snow with Bucky.

Then he slowly extended his hand and took the thin silver plates with Bucky's name and number engraved. When he read it there's a faint memory of Bucky laying on a table muttering those words to himself. It had been the first time Steve had thought him dead but he'd been given a second chance. Again he'd missed it. There'd be no third one. 

=☆=

On March 10th 2013, Steve Rogers stood up really early in the morning and baked apple pie with maple syrup and butter crust. He placed it on a nice plate and put a red plaid towel over it. When he finished, he put it in his bag, together with a bottle of Single Malt, a small blue candle and the silver dog tags he had kept in the inner pocket of his uniform all this time, but now he had to give them back to whom they belonged. The ring he kept on his own chain as a last reminder of Bucky.

He put his boots and the dark Parker on, shouldered the bag and went to take his motorcycle. He drove all the way through the rain to the cemetery, there he parked it besides a few bikes under a little roof.

While he made his way to the older part of the cemetery it stopped raining, but he still didn't remove his hood.

The grave was placed under an old oak with a thick stump. It had a plain gray gravestone with nice in carvings and was empty.

In loving memory of

Sergeant James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes

We will never forget our amazing brother,

friend and comrade

Fallen Soldier, National Hero and

Member of the infamous Howling Commandos

1917-1944

“Hey, Buck”, Steve whispered, “I know you´re not really here, but I still brought you something, since it´s your birthday and...” His voice broke and the tears streamed down his face as he opened the bag and put out the pie. He was glad nobody was there.

“J...just how Mom made it...with maple syrup and butter crust. I really managed to bake one, be proud of me.” He forced himself to keep talking.

“I´m glad Peggy and the others kept their promise and made you a small memorial here. At home.”

He stopped to sob into his scarf.

“It´s ... it´s so weird, so wrong, that i´m here and you are not. You promised me till the end of the line, Bucky, remember? I stand for that, I was ready to follow you when I crashed the plane into the arctic. I couldn't be... I…I couldn't live without you being with me. But still, here I am, still alive. Why, Buck? Why do I deserve to live and you don't? You were always the better man.

“You wanna know what I´ve been through, since I woke up? I met this bunch of people, brought together by this organization called S.H.I.E.L.D. Peggy founded it with Howard and Phillips, can you believe that? Anyway, we fought Aliens and traveled on some kind of flying ship. You would´ve like that.”

He chuckled. “You always liked this technology stuff. Speaking of which, I met Howard´s son, he´s a genius, just like his father, but also kind of an asshole. Also, just like his father. You would´ve kicked his ass by now.”

He put the bottle of whiskey besides the pie on the gravestone.

“I also brought you something, that was already yours...” He was interrupted by steps approaching behind him. He turned around and saw a girl around seventeen coming up to the grave.

She looked down on her feet stumping through the mud. Her brunette hair, which she wore in a short pixie cut and her black anorak were dry, so Steve assumed she came here by car. In her left hand she held a nice flower bouquet. In her right one a cell phone in which she was tipping something concentrated, so much, that she almost ran into Steve. The girl looked up at him with a surprised expression, piercing gray eyes staring up to him.

“Oh, I´m sorry. I didn't expect someone to be here”, she admitted.

“Yeah me neither”, Steve said, trying to hide under the hood. She nodded towards the grave.

“You came here for him too, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Captain America´s best friend. Big fan of our resurrected national symbol and his stories then, I guess?”, she asked with a smirk.

Right, she couldn't really recognize his face through the hood.

Steve immediately liked her. She had something kind and honest, but there was a fire burning behind those gray eyes.

“Kind of”, he said, smiling back at her, then remembering that she couldn't see it.

“It´s nice that you brought something. He liked apple pie and a good whiskey. It´s his birthday today, you knew that?”, she asked.

Steve nodded. “Yes, I know.” All of that, but how do you?

“It´s sad that only so few of you guys come here.”

“They don't?”, Steve asked trying to not sound offended at that. He had told Peggy that he wanted to create a memorial for Bucky in his hometown so people could come there to honor and remember him. He thought People would come, he really did.

She shook her head, her hair falling into her eyes which she tried to tuck behind her ears but it just kept falling back. Something about that move was way to familiar to Steve but he couldn't quiet name it.

“Oh no they do visit, though few people still know of this one. You know, they come more in the summer, especially at the holidays. 4th of July, Cap's birthday is like a cemetery rush hour. But no one, besides me of course, comes today. Today everyone goes to the Smithsonian. I mean, I understand, that's a lot less depressing. But I think to go here is more personal, you know? Okay, yeah maybe it´s kinda dumb, because he isn't really in there, but still. You can talk to him for a bit, lay some flowers down and just stand there in silence for a bit.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean”, Steve answered. So he got his own memorial in the museum then? He knew that there was an exhibit about him, but he didn't know that Bucky did have his own part in that. He would have to visit it some time.

She bowed down and put the bouquet, sunflowers, Steve wondered where she got them from in march, and a little silver pin from the New York City Science Hall.

“I bring him something from everywhere I go, which he would´ve loved too and lay it down here every year on his birthday. Grandma used to come with me when I was little, but since she died, it´s only me.”

She suddenly looked sad, tears in her eyes. Steve looked at her with awe. Wondering who this girl was. How would she know what Bucky would´ve liked?

“You´re also here as a fan?”, Steve asked, maybe a bit more curious about her then was normal for a stranger, you´ve just met on the cemetery. On the other side though, he didn't know what was normal behavior at cemetery dialogues.

“Nah, not really”, she said, the sad smile returned. She now faced him directly and held her hand towards Steve.

“Isabella Barnes, he was my Grandma´s brother.”

And suddenly everything fell together. That smirk, the eyes and the hair tucking. She was the spitting image of Rebecca at that age... her behavior though...

“God, you act just like him.” He couldn't stop himself from saying.

“Yeah, I know, Grandma and her sisters always told me that”, she chuckled before frowning. “Wait, how would you...”

Before she could finish, Steve took her hand and pushed the hood back.

“Steve Rogers, he was my best friend.” My everything.  
=☆=  
 

On March 10th 2015, Steve Rogers got a call from his best friend Sam, while standing in an empty warehouse in New Jersey.

“Dead End in Boston. I´m so sorry, man”, he said and Steve can literally see his worried face.

“Yeah, here too”, Steve answered, sliding down the wall he was leaned on so he was sitting on the cold floor now. “This one seemed so promising. It´s not far from where they had kept Zola and small enough to stay uncovered until now. But no, it´s completely empty, the only thing left are a few cupboards with certain stuff and boxes with uncountable amounts of papers.” Steve buried his face in his hand.

“Hey, we´ll find him. I promise.”

“How can you be so sure of that?”, came Steve´s muffled answer.

“I just know it. When everything you two have been through couldn't keep you apart then neither will this.”

Steve nodded, then realizing that Sam couldn't see him.

“Hey why don't you look through this stuff, maybe you´ll find some clues. I´ll make sure to send a team up to bring it to New York. You go home now and sleep, how long have you been awake again by now? Three days? I bet it was even more.” It was five.

“Yeah, I´ll do that”, Steve answered. “Thank you, Sam. For everything.”

“Of course, man. Stay strong.” With that Sam hanged up on him and Steve was alone with his thoughts again.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Bucky was out there, alone, on his birthday of which he probably didn't even know. He had hoped they would´ve found him by now and Steve could´ve given him the kind of birthday he deserved.

Steve got up and left the warehouse after making sure that the guard working on the terrain knew that someone would come to take the stuff.

He then drove back to New York and arrived by late afternoon. He didn't know what to do with him, he thought about going to Bucky´s memorial grave like the years before, but it didn't feel right with him being alive and somewhere out there. So he just sat there alone on his sofa for about two hours, zapping through reruns of cooking shows and eating two bags of Doritos. Then the door rang.

He eventually stood up after the thrid ring, wondering who decided to bother him today.

It was Natasha.

“Hey”, she said, holding a chocolate cake in her hands. “I figured you wouldn't want to be alone today, so I brought you cake and company.” Clint pops up behind her a sixpack in one hand and a bottle vodka in the other one.

“And booze.”

Steve actually smiled for the first time that day. It was small and a bit sad but he thought it counted. “Come all in.”

They talked – about everything but the obvious – for a few hours, downed the beers and vodka, which made Clint pretty dizzy, Natasha slightly amused and infected Steve not even a tiny bit. But he made up for it with eating bout half of the cake and another pack of Doritos. 

Then Clint and Natasha discovered Steve´s Wii which Tony had bought him and he had not once used till this day. They tried to beat each other at Wii sports and didn't pay attention to Steve anymore. So Steve cleaned up the glasses and plates and washed up in the kitchen.

His eyes wandered to the single piece of cake that was left. Steve tried not to think of the last time he´d eaten chocolate cake on this very day since it would end up with him sobbing on the floor.

He eventually had an idea and opened the drawer next to him and put one of the birthday candles out of the pack and put it on the cake. Steve laughed without any joy. It was completely ridiculous and dumb and he was glad that Clint and Natasha didn't see it, but eventually he lit the candle and climbed out of his bedroom window onto the rusty fire escape of his apartment building. He sat the plate down and looked out into the darkness.

“I know you would laugh at me if you could see me now, Buck. But anyway... Happy Birthday, where ever you are right now, I promise, I´ll find you.”

He stood there like this for a few more seconds, finally allowing himself the tears he had felt in him the whole day, before he returned to the living room and joined his friends in playing dumb video games.

After a while they decided to watch some crappy rom-com and fell asleep on the couch.

“But Rachel, I love you!” are the first words Steve heard waking up after only one hour of sleep. He frowned, wondering who this ominous Rachel and her lover are before realizing, that the movie was still playing.

He carefully stood up to not wake Clint who´s feet were swept over Steve´s thighs and turned the TV off. A blanket was wrapped around him, it fell down on Clint´s legs when Steve stood up. He was sure Natasha had tucked it around him after he fell asleep. She was always caring like that. Well, was to him and Clint. On occasion to Sam.

But the movie wasn't what had woken him up. A cold breeze touched his bare arms and let him shiver. In a couple of seconds he was by the wall next to the door, his shield in one hand. He peers around into his bedroom. The window was open.

Right. He must´ve forgotten to close it again after his sentimental breakdown from before.

He leaned the shield against his bed and walks to get the cake back in. Steve stops mid motion. The fire escape is empty, plate and cake, including the candle are gone.

He growled angry. He knew his behavior was dumb and weak, but that still didn't allow some asshole to steal his metaphorical birthday cake for Bucky. Who even got the idea to climb up some fire escape for a piece of cake? And took the plate?

He closed the window, went to the kitchen and stopped again in shock.

There it was, the plate and the candle, placed neatly on the counter. But instead of the chocolate cake, there was a piece of paper, ripped out of his note pad, he realized.

On the paper were written, in crappy handwriting, like the one of a small child, two words.

Thank you.

Feeling completely numb he took the discarded note pad from the floor, it was open and one page was ripped of, the drawing missing. 

He knew exactly what…who was on it.

Suddenly, Steve couldn't breathe anymore. He stumbled backwards, knocking a vase from the table.

“What the hell?”, Clint muttered, stretching himself and waking Natasha like that.

Steve just stared at them with wide eyes.

“Hey, Cap, everything alright?”, Clint asked looking worried.

“Did one of you tuck a blanket around me?”, he whispered.

“What? No?”

Natasha shook her head. “Nah, me neither.”

Steve´s eyes widened even more. If this was somehow possible.

“He was here.” The words came out, quiet enough though, that Steve thought, that no one besides himself had heard it but he was mistaken. Natasha and Clint looked at him and then at each other, slowly realizing, what or better who Steve was talking about. 

 

=☆=

 

On March 10th 2017, Bucky Barnes is woken up by a soft kiss, pressed on his forehead, followed by a second and a third, as his boyfriend searched his way down to Bucky´s mouth. Boyfriend. It still feels weird to think about Steve like this. Weird, but more than right, because that was where they belonged, next to each other, as close as somehow possible.

“Come on, time to get up, birthday boy”, Steve managed to say between kisses.

Bucky groaned, pushing closer to Steve, returning and eventually deepening the kiss. His right hand tenderly cupped Steve´s jaw, while the metal one tried to pull Steve´s shirt off, which – sadly enough – the blond had put back on before going to sleep.

Steve pulls away to look down at Bucky with his tired but happy smile, his red, swollen lips and mussed bed hair.

“I love you so fucking much”, Steve whispered.

He just couldn´t believe how lucky he was, being there, alive, with Bucky.

Bucky´s eyes darken as he smirked slyly.

“I know, Punk, I know. But you know, I kinda hate you right now.”

“What? Wh...”, Steve startled but is interrupted by Bucky flipping him over, somehow taking Steve´s shirt of in the process and kissing him hard and dirty.

Steve moaned as Bucky´s hands wander down his body towards his light blue boxers.

“Buck.”, he muttered. The brunet started kissing Steve´s jaw and sucking at his neck, causing Steve trouble at remembering what he´d meant to say. He tangled his fingers into Bucky´s long hair and chuckled softly.

“You already had your birthday sex, remember?”

Bucky stopped sucking and settled down on his forearms to look at Steve. He grinned sheepishly. “How could I ever forget that?” He kissed Steve´s chest. “But you still owe me some morning sex.” Another kiss, this time a bit further down. “Come on. You don't turn 100 every day.”

“As much as I want to, sweetheart...” Kiss.

“But, it´s already 10am...” Kiss. Directly at the top of Steve´s underwear.

“...and Sam invited us for bru...” Bucky continued to kiss, painfully slow pulling Steve´s boxer briefs down.

“Ah, fuck it!”, Steve moaned and threw his head back into the pillow.

They ended up being almost half an hour late when they finally arrived at the cozy little diner around the corner. Therefore, Sam was already sitting in their regular booth next to the counter and directly at the window which provided a perfect few on the little park on the opposite of the street.

He was currently chatting with the waitress. When he saw them coming in, he just shook his head.

“Do I even want to know?”, he asked when Steve and Bucky slide on the bench in front of him.

“Probably not.” Sam sighs and takes another sip from his coffee. The girl went away to bring them their menues and Bucky took hold of Steve´s hand, which lay on the table and gazed sat his boyfriend.

Another heavy sigh from Sam. “Why am I even friends with you two? Dumb, love struck teenagers, I mean look at you. Disgusting.”

Bucky laughed, his typical relaxed laugh. It was one of Steve´s favorite sounds in the whole world, had been since forever, now even more, when it was deeper and rougher and wasn't only allowed to affect his heart.

The waitress returned with the menus and Steve got, luckily, distracted.

After they picked their meals, Sam smirked at them, mischievously.

“So, are you exited for your big surprise, not actually surprising, party Tony´s throwing you, Buck?”

Bucky sighed, burying his face in his hand.

“Uagh! I totally forgot about that”, he muttered. He looked up in pretended shock. “Shit, what am I gonna wear?”

Sam chuckled. “Well, you still have...” He looked down on his watch. “About eight hours after we´re done here.”

Steve shifted in his seat, clearing his throat. “Well, actually you have less time.”

Bucky removed his hands, looking at his boyfriend, questioning.

“We have to do something important first.”

The brunet´s eyes lighten up. “Like a real birthday surprise?”

Steve nodded and smiled down at Bucky. “Yeah, kind of.”

In seconds, Bucky turned into a little child on Christmas morning. His hands gripped Steve´s arm.

“What is it?”

“As I said, it´s a surprise. You´ll have to wait till we get there.”

“Oh come on!” He turned to Sam. “Do you know?”

Sam shook his head.

“Of course you know?”, Bucky scolded. “Uagh. I hate surprises.” He actually loved them.

Steve just shruged. Bucky stared out of the window and pretended to ignore them, while Steve and Sam shared a knowing look.

His grumpiness only lasted about ten seconds.

“Is it more like a thing or a place?”, he asked fixing Steve with his Winter Solider death stare.

“That´s not gonna work, Buck”, Steve warned. “I ain't gonna say anything.”

“But...” Bucky was interrupted by the waitress returning with their food. His stomach grumbled loudly and the surprise is forgotten until after they are finished with their breakfast.

One hour later they grabbed their coats and said goodbye to Sam, Steve promising him to call him afterwards to tell him how it went.

“See you later!”, he yelled after them, waving. They turned around the corner and Steve took Bucky´s hand in his.

“So. Where are we going?”, he asked curious.

“Like I said, you´ll find out soon enough.”

Steve lead him through the almost empty streets of late morning Brooklyn. It had started to rain again and most people had vanished into their warm and dry homes. They didn't think about bringing an umbrella, so their only protection from the raindrops were their coats and the hoods they had pulled deep into their faces.

Steve thought about a similar situation, exactly seventy-three years ago, on the day, when he was running through the rainy streets of Vienna. At that time he had thought, that he would never be able to smile again. Oh how wrong he was. He gripped Bucky´s hand tighter and stopped.

His boyfriend looked at him, startled.

“What...”, Bucky didn't get to finish because Steve was pressing their mouths together in a passionate kiss.

When they broke apart, Bucky blinked.

“What was that for?”, he asked.

“Nothing. Just thank you. For being here. With me. Right now. It´s something I´ve never even allowed myself to hope for.”

Bucky returned his smile, leaning their foreheads together.

“And I´ll be forever greatful for that.”

They kissed again.

“Also, we are here.” He nodded towards the house with the little garden to their right. Steve opened the gate and pulled a surprised Bucky with him towards the door.

“Would you please ring?”, Steve asked and Bucky frowned but moved his hand towards the bell anyway.

A few seconds passed and the door was opened by a young woman. Her rather short dark hair was pulled up in a messy little pony tail. A pair of dark glasses sitting on her nose. She was wearing leggings and a to big gray hoodie.

“God damn it I'm studying for my god damn history examn I…” She looked up at Steve and the frown formed into a smile.

“Steve?”

“Hello”, Steve said simply.

She'd grown quiet a bit in the last four years, the nerdy teenager with the floppy hair had become a beautiful young woman. High cheekbones and dimples like Rebecca. Her hair straight like Bucky's not like the girls' had been and his same gray eyes.  
And so even though Steve hadn't seen her in person since Bucky´s birthday in 2013, they had stayed in touch through the years, via email and text. Therefore, she knew that Bucky was back. She'd immediately wanted to meet him but Steve had asked her to give him a bit of time till the right moment came around and Bucky was safe enough in his state and with his memories. Apparently this moment was now.

Before either of them could say anything Bucky clasped Steve's hand tighter and gasped barely audible.

“Becca?”, he breathed out.

Bella frowned and her gaze shifted towards the brunet. Her breath hitched and Steve could read the slow recognition in her gray eyes. When she looked back to Steve as if to ask for permission. He gave a short nod.

“No…”, Charlie started. “Rebecca was my grandmother. My name's Isabella Barnes but everyone calls me Bella. You're Bucky, right? Grandma told me so much about you…! By the way, happy birthday man! What is it…a 100? That's impressive!”

Her surprise quickly turned into excitement. Bucky could just nod and stared at her with wide eyes. It's a bit much to take in but Bucky's not uncomfortable as far as Steve can tell.

“I'm sorry where are my manners”, Bella said with a shake of her head and a smirk towards Steve. “I guess you're here for a reason.”

“That's right”, Steve said smiling brightly, noting the curiosity and distrust battling on his face. Steve always beamed with happiness whenever Bucky wasn't afraid to show his emotions so open but now wasn't the time for that.

Isabella had vanished into the house again and Bucky was pulling at Steve's right arm.

“Steve. Steve. Stevie. Come on. Steve. What is it? What's the surprise? Is this the surprise or is there more? God damn it, punk. Tell me!”, he asked, making little jumps on the spot.

“Patience!”, Steve demanded chuckling as Isabella returned with a small blue velvet bag. She handed it to Steve and grinned that wicked grin again that Steve knew reminded Bucky painfully of Rebecca.

“I'm gonna leave you guys to it and continue studying about the French Revolution. But you're more than welcome to join me, my sister Kate and my parents for dinner tomorrow night. I'm sure Dad is dying to meet his uncle and namesake.” She winked at the brunet. “Steve, nice to see you again. Bucky, nice too finally meet you.”

“Thank you, Bella. For everything”, Steve said, squeezing her hand tightly. She nodded quickly and shut the door.

“That was…weird”, Bucky stated. “Why did you take me hear only to see Becca's granddaughter, which believe me is amazing but I would've liked to get to know her better. Though I don't think that was the surprise so would you know please tell me what the hell this tiny bag contains!”

He trailed after Steve and almost ran into his back when the blond stopped on the sidewalk.

Steve turned around and shoved the bag into Bucky's hands. “I´ve wanted to wait till we got home but someone apperently can´t wait so, open and see.”

Bucky eyed him suspiciously but slowly began to open the bag.

“What is that”, he muttered trying to pull the bag open. When he finally managed to open it he gaped much like he did almost at every present Steve had ever given him. Only this time there were tears in his eyes.

“My… oh Steve.”

Bucky gazed back at Steve, holding the dog tags tight, with his right hand. The real one. His knuckles were white with how strong the grip is.

“Thank you”, he whispered. “I didn't think I would ever see them again.”

“They fell from your neck during our fight on the train”, Steve explained.

“Thank you”, Bucky just repeated.

He looked up at Steve and his gray eyes are full of love and affection.

Steve smiled back at him, certainly knowing that this face wouldn't last long. And sure as hell only seconds later Bucky's eyebrows shot up and his eyes widen in shock. He looked at the dog tags again, panic in his eyes then back at Steve and then began to feel the whole chain, not finding what he was searching for.

“Steve, your dad's ring! It's not there Steve… Stevie?”

He looked up where he thought Steve's eyes were but just ends up staring at the rose bush in the Barnes' front yard. When his searching eyes found Steve, the blond male was kneeling on one knee on the dirty wet sidewalk in front of him. In his hand he held his fathers silver ring.

“Steve what are you doing?”, Bucky asked and for some reason there is a hint of panic in his voice.

“Bucky. I've known you for my whole life. I've loved you for 99 years, been in love with you for 83 of them. I don't know how or why but somehow we managed to overcome everything this world three at us and came out of it together. No one and nothing, not even the worst of illnesses, the war, seventy years of brainwashing or death could keep us apart. I guess that has to mean something. That we are meant to be or I don't know. You know I was never good with words, Buck but I'm just gonna assume that you understand what I mean. We promised each other till the end of the line before we really knew what that meant and...”

Steve took a deep breath.

“Well, James Buchanan Barnes, my best guy, my one true love, do you wanna marry me?”

Bucky shook his head vehemently trying to breath. Somehow Steve seemed to have this effect on him more often than not.

“Please, Buck say something.”

Bucky began to smile. This shouldn't be difficult. This was Steve god damn it.

“Steve. The one year between our first kiss and my fall wasn't the best time of my life with the war happening around us, always scared of one of us dying. Nor was it the closest we've ever been but those few almost shameful kisses and intimate moments we shared over this year… do you wanna know what was the last thing I thought was? It was how grateful I was that we even had this and that I wouldn't change it for anything. And then I came back and we got this second chance…it was more than I could've hoped for. I never told you before the war but I can't tell you enough now Stevie. I love you. I love you more than life more than anything in the whole wide world. I've loved you for a whole century So do I wanna marry you? Yes, Steve, I think I wanted to marry you since before I even knew what love was.” Sometimes during his speech, tears had started running down his cheeks, but it was okay because Steve wasn't much better off.

“Really?”, he whispered though already pushing the ring onto Bucky's hand, his right one since it Bucky wanted to feel it on his real skin.

“Really you, dumb punk”, he grinned pulling Steve to his feet. “Now kiss me, idiot.”

And Steve did, for a long time, neither of them caring about the rain or the open street or the two guys wolf whistling while walking by.

Afterwards they just stood there. Steve just holding Bucky save in his strong arms. Bucky smiled against Steve's neck, taking in his warmth and the slight scent of soap, wood and sweetness that hasn't changed in almost 99 years.

“This is the best birthday ever”, he said pulling back and leaning their foreheads together.

Steve smirked and pressed a small kiss on Bucky's nose.

“Better than, 1943?”

“Yeah Steve, I think a marriage proposal tops our first kiss.”


End file.
